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Tytuł: Drunk on the striped table

  • Wykonawca: Rickie Lee Jones
  • Wy¶wietleń: 271
In my featherless, sagging, saffron wings,
   i dance
  
   my Phoenician, waterlogged, orchestrated and forty foot wings
   wave in the air
   i am drunk laying against the striped table
   pushing these banners into the airless beach
   waving these flags as i murmur the recipes of prayers to the vendors
   and the pharisees in bikinis pumping iron against the sun
  
   the recipes of semitic vendors, egyptian vendors
   shaking their backs against the sun
   laughing with the sounds of sheets of metal
   splashing the naked pharisees
   with wild bikinis and the soft fragrance
   of dreams
   and morning
  
   i walk on the beach looking for a place to sleep
   My arms are hidden beneath my sailing skin
   i am broke and fucked up and i fall in the sand
   and sleeping in the warm cradle of a billion rocks
  
   i dreamed of cher
   she came to us in babylon
   and she was rattling fluently
   her true language
   and she was dressed in high syrian rags
   her face had white powder on it and there were
   little brown moons beneath her eyes
   and i saw into her
   an arabic women parading around naked
   powerful, irreverent but still after all
   doing it the old egyptian way
   with sparkling clothes and force
  
   now i awake in the afternoon
   the arcade is filled with children
   families are walking by staring at me
   pre-pubescent faces are coming a little too close
   i don't even remember if i have on any underwear
  
   i get up and walk away
   i never even knew this stuff was here
   the twirling music, the games, the money
   this commune living sucks
   these black panthers suck
   these harmonica players
   should all go back to the north
   canada, new jersey, where ever they do that
   blowing
  
   II.
  
   I abandon the old way when i first got to san diego. I fucked anybody i wanted to. I was, however, gang raped by a blues band in an old school bus. That was pretty
   horrible. There were only three of them. I can't remember if i got the third on e off me. I think i did. I was so ashamed.
  
   Perhaps people think if you don't scream you're not being raped. Perhaps they think if you say to yourself, just let him do it and he won't hurt you. Or even more
   provocative, just let him do it and maybe he'll like you. And of course you've been saying no, no, don't . Or pushing but not pushing too much. Because you're just a little
   girl really, and you're afraid, and you're so tired, and you just want someplace to sleep.
  
   That's what it's like when you run away from home.
   Lots of people will rape you. And you'll let them. Just to have a place to sleep.
   The thing was, after they fucked me, and all this juice all over my thighs, they didn't even let me sleep there.
   You think this only happens to me? You're crazy. You think this only happens to girls who are rough? You're wrong. You think this only happens in stories?
   Look behind you.
  
   Still i liked the idea of being assertive. I liked the idea of free love in san diego. i liked the idea of saying i want you instead of waiting around so some guy can get his rocks
   off thinking you didn't really want him that he won something from you that you didn't want to give him. This strategy, this tradition, is a kind of rape.
  
   This idea that men are suppose to win you, that you are suppose to be aloof, is a small but significant dramatization of rape. I do not like it. not one bit. that sam i am that
   sam i am. i do not like that sam i am.
  
   now i could no more say get down here and eat this sweet me than i could
   swallow a bull fighter
   or write names on the walls in blood
   or wear the victims horns on my head
   or row a boat across the atlantic ocean again
  
   and though sometimes i am sitting at the desk, or
   at a table eating dinner
   and there is some one, some slave, or some anything
   underneath
   eating mine alone
   and no one knows
   or eating every ones
   and everyone is coming
   i could never bring anything to reality now
   reality is cracked by the blows of terrible
   men and nights with pointed teeth
   snapping poison at the air
   i breath
   and all good things now
   take place inside my many layered
   silence
   my eyes
   my lips
   are sealed
  
   where did you go
   when things went bad, anyway?
   i sat beside you in that bathroom all night.
   you were crying
   you were talking to me like a baby
   you were gone, man, gone
   you just kept getting in the bath
   and getting out and letting the water run out
   and then getting in again
   and all that food i made
   it was all over the walls in the kitchen
   and there was a heat wave
   and the waves were very, very high
   and the dogs were turning into carrots
   and the valentines were melting beneath
   burrito and neon
   where shattered places pave the road
   the winding road through echo park
   that echoes still
   your naked body
   the bed you brought
   those stupid lamps
   your body echoes
   the last shadows
   of me against you
   you loved me.
   you loved me madly
  
   where did you go?i knew you like that scene of girls chasing you down the street. that's why you always liked to have a very hip car, because it was important that they
   chase you in the right car, and i was not about to chase you.
  
   i knew that story of that italian girl in philadelphia chasing you down the night street you were in a taxi cab, that's a nice image. then the japanese girl. but then my feet
   were starting toward you and you were turning the corner onto sunset and you left me there in a second day cold turkey. and all i can think of i philadelphia cheese steak
   sandwich philadelphia cheesesteak sandwich.
  
   philadelphia cheese steak and every time i think cheese steak i see all this wet cheese and steak.
   Here comes the parade! Look! Here it comes!
   I let you go.
   I let you go. You like to rip girls. I had to let you go.